The idea that our Western society has so deeply ingrained, that of the female as a somehow lesser force than the male, is utterly and irrevocably false. It is an alienation of an entire aspect of the human experience - a shattering of the unified consciousness with the creation of borders which don’t naturally exist. Joe Campbell makes a great point when he describes the ideal union of the masculine and the feminine as neither one ‘above’ the other, but rather as both in perfect union and harmony. Again we see the Yin and Yang concept appear - the ideal union of both elements of our psychological existence.
This concept is especially important to take note of in our current social order - where warfare and destruction are praised above almost all else. It seems to be a deeply held belief that some things are worth killing for - and that belief permeates almost every facet of our society. It is the product of an uneven respect for the natural systems of life, and it is itself an instigator of further separation between the male and female; the building and the destroying forces of existence. In the format of the ancient I Ching, the dominant nature of our society would be characterized by a severe emphasis on the solid line. Certainly within the mainstream of our modern western culture this would be true - despite the growing movement towards reconciliation with the feminine which is appearing in the younger generations, and on the sidelines of the social order.
I personally find the idea of the “amore” form of love, as distinct from the other classical definitions, to be an appealing one. It is a sentimental hopefulness perhaps, in the possibility of a deeper connection with another person than what eros has to offer. That “connection through the eyes” brings up a deep appeal in my heart which longs for release, even despite the skepticism I find so very easy to employ. Such a delicious notion: to find in someone else the sort of love normally reserved for self alone - the relationship between two individual sets of experiences and ideals, formed into a single appreciation and acceptance for and of another. Yes, in this I think is one of the many keys to the salvation of existence.
Returning to the concept of female and male, there should be some consideration to the nature of the barriers that were forged between these naturally unified aspects of the mind. Certainly in the West, there is a deep religious dogma which is very difficult to escape. The judeo-christian mythos flows so deeply in our cultural veins as to be nearly indiscernible to the casual viewer. The concepts of “good” and “evil” which are so prevalent are proof enough of this - for they are directly related to a religious tradition, and rarely understood in terms of their origins or histories. Escaping then, from the confines of religion, must be the first step on the way to reunification of the westerner’s psyche.
Perhaps then, in this way, the only way to gain a true understanding of the myths our society is built upon, is to break down those myths we subscribe to without thinking? To destroy the myth in order to understand better the truth the myth is attempting to impart.
I think that there is both a measure of selflessness and selfishness in love, and I think that the descriptors “good” and “bad” fail to do justice to the reality of the concepts themselves. I believe that neither selfishness or selflessness are undesirable traits when involved in love - that it is the nature of the individual to feel selfishness, and the nature of loving another to take on some understanding of selflessness. There cannot be amore without a little of both - a give and take between the yin and yang traits of the experience.